Aquarium Video

My first venture into loading my own YouTube videos is pretty basic stuff. Here are some clips from the aquarium.

Aquarium

I went to Ripley's Aquarium in Gatlinburg with the family today. It was a really nice day, but everyone seemed pretty tired. All the men are falling apart (due to one reason or another), so we basically just spent the day trying to keep up with Mom.

Santa-Come-Lately

Christmas came late this year, but that's better than not at all. The folks are in town for the weekend (parents, brother, grandpa, but sadly no niece). Presents came with them (evidence of which can be found below). Let me tell you, there is nothing more awkward than to be the only person opening Christmas presents in the room.
It's nice to have the feeling that Christmas has actually happened now. This was my first year being away from home on the day. It wasn't miserable or sad, it was just different. It didn't feel like I was missing out on Christmas. It just didn't feel like Christmas at all, which is probably better.
Special thanks to Graham and Michael, and the whole Case Clan, for inviting me into their home on Christmas morning for a delicious breakfast. It was the highlight of what could have easily been a morose day. And thanks to everyone else who extended invitations.

Now, the important part. My new toy:



Ah yes, the ol' taking-a-picture-of-oneself-in-the-mirror picture. Calling card of amateur bloggers and Myspace junkies everywhere. Finally, the cliche is within my grasp.

Merry Axe-Mas!

I've posted these on the old blog. But that's old. This is new!

Pee Wee's Christmas Special

I loved this show when I was a kid, but looking back on it now I realize how cool my parents were for letting me watch such insane, subversive stuff.
Oddly, this is probably only the second weirdest performance from the special:

Peanuts Christmas

Where The Hell Is Matt?

Not sure what this video has to do with Christmas, except that it makes me very happy. And the music is beautiful.

Sing A Slaying Song Tonight - 2006 Edition

'Twas the night before Christmas
When all through the house
Not a creature was stirring
‘Cause I killed that darn mouse.

The stockings were hung
And the traps were all set
In hopes that St. Nick
Would get caught in one yet.

Ma with her shot-gun
And I with my rifle,
Our hopes were still high
St. Nick’s plans we would stifle.

When out on the lawn
There arose such a din
St. Nick had arrived,
That nasty villain!

Away to the window
I flew like a bird,
Tore open the shutters,
'Twas this that we heard:

“Ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas!
Bad tidings to you!
I’ll kill everybody,
That’s just what I’ll do!”

And what to my grief-stricken
Eyes should reveal,
But a bulbous old troll
stealing kids for his veal!

To the top of the porch
To the top of the wall
Now slash away, slash
Away, slash away all.

Then he flew down our chimney
That cold winter night
Our guns full of ammo,
Our hearts full of fright.

And that’s when we saw him,
His true form unraveled.
One slip up from us and
And we'd soon be cadaveled.

With his big, bloated belly,
And razor bicuspids,
His gaudy pimp clothing
In blood was encrusted.

He crept closer and closer,
And Ma shouted, “Run!”
We began to head out.
I remembered my gun.

“One more step,” I decreed,
"And you’ll be a goner!
Then I’ll feed you to Rudolf,
And Blitzen, and Donner.”

Perhaps 'twas my warning
That made him to pause.
Up the chimney he crawled
With his damned Santa claws.

And the last thing we heard,
As the fat monster fled
Was the tormented wail
Of the Christmas undead.

The Future!

I'm totally updating my blog from my Wii right now. The trial version of the web browser just became available. Welcome to the future of communication. Actually, this is very cumbersome. I definitely won't be doing this very often.

Christmas Time Is Here

For those of you with cable television: Tune in to the PAX network (yes, the Christian channel) this Saturday at 5PM. One of the Christmas concerts I performed in will be airing locally. You can check out my sweet solo.

Also, I'm getting the word out now: New Years Eve at my place! Or should I say...New Years Wiiv? I don't feel like going out and doing anything crazy this year, so everyone is welcome to come over and kick back, sip on some gin and juice, and generally just fart the evening away (much like last year, but with a change of venue). It's a BYOB affair. Nothing fancy. Pretty lame actually, but what else are you gonna do?

Celebritiis

Someone hosted a contest for best Mii celebrity look-alikes. The results are very impressive. I've mostly just turned select friends into Miis so far, but I did make one of Michael Jackson. I haven't done anything as good as what these people have done, though.

The Mii creator is much more versatile than I initially gave it credit for (although I'd still like to see more options in the future). Someone even made an Admiral Ackbar.

More Wii Safety

Someone did a parody of those Wii safety images I posted recently.

Last Minute Notice:

I am in a Christmas concert at First Baptist Church (downtown) tomorrow night at 6:30. It should be quite lovely and I have a solo. Be there.


Unrelated item: I have a Wii now. More on that later when I can pry my hands off of it.

He Sees You When You're Sleeping...

Here is a fantastic gallery of kids freaking out in the presence of Santa.

If you look at some of the Santas in these pictures you'll see that the kids have every right to be terrified.

Oh, Those Crazy Loveable Japanese!

Check out more of these pictures from the Japanese Wii safety manual.

Scary Mary

This could be my favorite movie trailer re-edit ever:

Hot Fuzz

I can't wait to see this movie. And that's based on the video alone. I won't actually be able to hear the trailer until I watch it at home (I'm currently updating from school). Still, the people involved in this movie are geniuses. If you've seen their television series Spaced or (more likely) the film Shaun of the Dead, then you don't need me to tell you. If you haven't seen one or both of those previous works than I pity you.

Best Video Game Ever

Shut Up, Donnie

I've been waiting for a YouTube version of this since I first saw it (the original was in a much more annoying format). But here it is. A scene from The Big Lebowski starring Nintendo Miis:

Sleeping With The Enemy

I was supposed to meet up with Graham and some other people at Family Bowl last night. I was going to dominate the lanes and make everyone ashamed that they even dared to challenge my ten-pin skills.
Instead, Graham received a PS3 as an early Christmas present and the bowling plans kind of fell apart from there. I hung out at Graham's for a few hours to witness the spectacle. Of course, the entire time I was just cursing my own luck in not having procured my Wii. But I didn't want to rain on his parade entirely, so I mostly kept the anti-Sony rhetoric at a minimum. I played a single death match round of Resistance: Fall of Man, which everyone seems to agree is the killer app for the system launch. But it pretty much wins by default. Almost every other launch title is multi-platform, and the few that aren't are fairly lackluster. Genji looks pretty enough, and I really didn't see enough of it to form a solid opinion, but the reviews have not been favorable. Resistance has been getting great reviews, on the other hand. My brief play time was not unsatisfactory, and the single-player campaign looked interesting. But it's not the kind of game I go crazy over. It looks like a Call of Duty game, but with aliens. I'm just not into the shooters that much these days. The problem might be that I compare every shooter experience with the Goldeneye days of yore. And nothing will ever live up to that. The other problem is that I've played Gears of War, and that game just raises the bar for shooters above and beyond anything else. Sure, it's not really a first-person shooter. You spend most of the time hovering just over the character's shoulder. But it switches to first-person when aiming, so I find the differences between the two genres negligible.
One area I did notice Resistance excelling in was with the physics engine. It's very cool to see objects (especially the bodies of your fallen enemies) slide down slopes, or off ledges, realistically. Too many times when playing similar games you'll see a dead soldier or alien lying halfway off of a staircase, stiff as a board, an entire half of their body seemingly defying gravity. It's like the fastest-setting rigor mortis ever. Or even worse, as they slump against a wall part of their body will fuse through it like something out of the Philadelphia experiment. But Resistance seems to avoid these pratfalls for the most part. At one point Graham passed a fallen foe who was half crouching, half leaning against a wall. It looked eerily natural, as if he had been killed in the midst of reloading or seeking cover. Pretty cool stuff.
Other than this I wasn't too impressed by any of the games. Tony Hawk, Tiger Woods, and Madden all looked very good. But again, they aren't exclusive, and the graphical quality isn't very far removed from the XBox 360. It still boggles my mind that the system can come out a year after the competition with supposedly much more powerful hardware (and price to match), and not look significantly improved. The PS3 still has to prove itself as far as I'm concerned.
So, that was my experience with the PS3. My hands didn't boil when I touched the controller, it didn't explode when turned on, and it didn't shoot blinding rays into our eyes. So at least in that respect it's not as bad as I would have guessed.
Enjoy it, Graham.

Christmas Wish List - The Odd Edition

Here is a list of things that I would love to own, specifically of the odd variety. And no, I don't expect you to buy them for me.

1. The Avenging Unicorn Playset


2. Log Pillow


3. Wallet Bottle Opener


4. Girlfriend's Lap Pillow


5. Personalized Zombie Portrait

One More Wiik. Two more...Thrii?

I'm still Wiiless, people. It isn't fair, really. Nintendo should send me a free one for all the free advertising I've given them. Countless dozen have witnessed my sugar-coated fanboy rants about the curative powers of the Wii, and so on. I've handled a masterful smear campaign against Nintendo's rivals, never once expecting something in return. And now all I'm asking for is a little something in return. I think that's fair. Frankly, I'm sick of watching others play their fabulous Wiis while I remain empty handed (although I will continue to do so).
Things like this become more and more bittersweet:

*sigh*

I Always Hated The Ice Levels

Jason Bateman is so embarrassed he can barely get the words out.

Cut That Turkey!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Reason To Get Married #2

So you've got the perfect cake.
Now you need the perfect present:

Filling The Voiid

This began as a response to Brian's recent comment: "Speaking of releases, did anyone actually buy a PS3 to keep? We ended up not waiting in line any where to sell the PS3, and to be frank it looks like pretty much all of them are on ebay any way. There are actually still Wii's available here in Orlando, I've seen a few on shelves in stores."

My response quickly became post-length, so here it is:

The fact that PS3s are so expensive and that they sell for even more money on ebay pretty much guaranteed that it was a lot more worthwhile to buy one as an investment rather than for personal entertainment. I think the people that were potentially going to triple or sextuple their money were a lot more dedicated to camping out than the people who just wanted to play the one or two exclusive games that are even worth playing.
If you go to IGN's PS3 review section you'll notice that only two of the exclusive titles got decent scores: Resistance Fall of Man, and Ridge Racer 7. A shooter and a racer. Woo. The rest of the worthwhile games are on the other consoles. There's nothing there that would make any real gamer need a PS3 on launch day. Most of the people who are buying one for keeps are technophiles who just want the latest gadget. Nothing about this console seems fun to me.
I spent almost an hour last night reading a forum on Joystiq where people shared their Wii experiences post-launch. The general opinion was pretty universal, that the system is just a blast to play. Many people raved about the simplistic pack-in Wii Sports. A lot of people mentioned Zelda, of course, with a lot of praise. Many people also mentioned their family members, who never play video games, hijacking the console to play wild Wii Sports free-for-alls. Sounds like Nintendo's strategy is a success in that regard.
I don't hear anything like this surrounding the PS3. It's all, HD graphics (which apparently don't work properly, from early reports), Blu-Ray, and...some third thing. In any case, I don't hear anyone saying that the PS3 is a really fun system to play on. Most of the early owners' reports tend to be about system glitches rather than actual game playing. And I hear the download store (Playstation Arcade, or whatever it is) is poorly conceived. The 360's model is really good and it's been around for over a year now. Why reinvent the wheel?
The general opinion seems to be that the PS3 may eventually be worth owning. Most people agree that the system doesn't feel finished, and I personally think that almost every aspect of the system's launch backs this up. So, who in their right mind would pay $600 for one after camping out for two days? Who in their right mind would pay $10,000 for one (as one person reportedly did) on eBay? It's completely insane.
Some people are claiming that the Wii has a ways to go before it proves itself. But if people are having a great time playing it on day one, what the hell else does it have to prove? *sigh*
I want one so bad...

One More Wiik (Again)

No luck at Sears. They only had two Wiis. Two! So I have to wait till Friday. In the meantime I've got the new Zelda game in hand (or on shelf), taunting me, urging me to play it. Damn.

Here's the big launch commercial that's showing everywhere now. It's a lot better than Sony's crying-psycho-baby/exploding-rubik's-cube bullshit.
Hey Sony, fire your advertising department. While you're at it fire everyone that works for you. I'm going to go out on a limb and say that the PS3 doesn't even deserve to make money, having the most botched launch in history. Actually, the PS3 isn't going to make money. I should have said it doesn't deserve to be recognized as an actual product that people buy, but more of a hole that people bury their money in. Not for safe keeping, but just to get rid of it. And every once and a while you can come to the hole and look at it and think, "It sure would be nice to have that money," but it's too late. It's in the hole.
The ridiculous thing is that Sony can lose so much money on each console and still potentially be a huge success. The video game industry is seriously fucked up.

Wii Woes

Well, the Walmart midnight sale was a bust. The thirty slots were already filled by the time I got off work, which I pretty much predicted. So tomorrow I try to find one at one of the retailers that skipped the pre-orders and the midnight sales. Hmmm...Sears maybe? Worst case scenario, I've got one on hold for me this Friday. Still, I was hoping to have one in my arms this evening. We were going to cuddle.

I sold the Gamecube at McKays yesterday. I remember waiting in line at EB to buy it like it was yesterday. And I sold her. I sold her like a Chinese baby.

Maddox Puts Sony In Its Place

The internet's biggest hater spreads contempt for Sony. As usual, it's another hate-fueled tirade from the genius who brought us Crappy Kid's Art, More Crappy Kid's Art, and Dumbass Gothics.

One More Wiik

Only six more days until the Wii is released. I've been following all the stories online now that most of the gaming press have received their Wiis for previewing purposes. Most of the early reports are very positive. One early review by a blogger's jackass roommate is worth reading, if only for the hilarious comments thread tearing the guy apart. A negative preview of the new Zelda from the same site is completely lacking in perspective which detracts from any real point the writer may have been trying to make, as pointed out by Gabe in his most recent blog. Also, the comic accompanying said blog is a good rebuttal for people like the jackass roommate (above) who claim that Wii Sports can be played with subtle movements of the wrist, instead of more realistic motions. Yes, you can play it that way. But you are not meant to if you actually intend to enjoy the experience. Remember Track And Field for the NES with that awesome Power Pad? You could play the game by sitting on the floor and smacking it with your palms to make your character "run" faster, but what would be the fucking point?
Yes, some games for the Wii are meant to be played with subtle movements, such as The Legend of Zelda. No one expects you to jump around your living room slashing away like it's a real sword. But Wii Sports is that other kind of game the Wii will be home to. The kind that expects you to put a little more effort into it in order to get a lot more out. The power pad analogy occurred to me as I was writing this. I realized for the first time that the Wii is philosophically an elaborate extension of something Nintendo has been doing from the very beginning (Power Pad, Power Glove, Light Gun, SuperScope 16...), and that is to make games more immersing. Only this time the system has been built from the ground up to accommodate this kind of gaming.

I briefly mentioned in a previous post that I was somewhat interested in Excite Truck, the first-party launch title for Wii. The more I hear about this game the more excited I become. All of the early previews have been glowing, and the recently confirmed information about the ability to add custom soundtracks is very mouth watering. Of course, you'll need an SD memory card (Nintendo's external storage media of choice) to take advantage of this. So I went and bought an SD reader for my computer, although haven't bought an actual card yet. I'm planning to get a digital camera in the near future anyway, so I don't see this expense as overly gratuitous. You can transfer your photos and videos to the Wii as well, so I'm sure I'll get plenty of use out of it. And SD prices are going down, so it's not nearly as hard on the wallet as it once was. The custom soundtrack is a very cool feature and I hope Nintendo includes it on as many games as possible.

Slinging Webs...In My Pants

So here's the sparkly new trailer for Spider-Man 3:

I'm looking forward to this movie quite a lot. I loved the first two (the second being my favorite) and had only minor complaints about them. I love Sam Raimi, and have a lot of confidence in him as far as the third movie goes. But. I am a bit concerned about how much CGI character work is done in this one. A lot of people complained about the stuff in the first movies, that whenever a character was suddenly replaced by a computer double it was painfully obvious. I agree that it was obvious, but felt that it didn't detract from the movie too much. But practically every shot of Spider-Man in this trailer is CGI. And maybe it's just me, but it almost looks like a step back from the previous movies. The CGI somehow looks faker to me. Or maybe I've just seen some spectacular shit since Spider-Man 2 and this new stuff hasn't kept up. I've got no problem with the Sandman character. That has to be done with computers, there's just no other way. And the crawly, inky black suit is fine, too. I don't know. Even non-character objects like some of the debris Spider-Man is dodging looks super fake.
It's possible that whoever edited the preview just picked a bunch of CGI-heavy shots to give it that extra kick. But it's also possible that most of the movie is like this. Despite these misgivings I'm very, very excited. If the story is good enough, and the movie is fun enough I will overlook these things. Like I said, I have faith in Sam Raimi and I haven't been truly disappointed yet. I love the casting, and I can't wait to see where Raimi takes the story next (although anyone with even a slight knowledge of Spider-Man probably knows the key events that are in this movie).
I remain cautiously giddy.

Current Events In Picto Form

Yes...YES!!!

It has recently been revealed that Super Mario RPG: Legend of the Seven Stars is going to be an early release for the Virtual Console. Hells yeah! This is the sort of thing that will make the VC the coolest thing around. For everyone who hasn't played it (I'm presuming most of you), Super Mario RPG was a collaboration between Nintendo and Square in which each company provided the best of what they were known for at the time - namely, brand recognition and kick-ass role-playing, respectively. This game added a whole new level of depth to Mario's universe, and is pretty much responsible for kick-starting the wonderfully absurd humor found in every Mario-themed game today (from Paper Mario to Mario Party). Oh, and I believe it's the only game where Bowser is one of the main playable characters (geek-tastic!) This was one of the games I was hoping and salivating for when the details of the VC were first released.
Now, if they'll just release Earthbound my geek nostalgia will be sated for years to come.

Tremble In Fear

I just got some pictures back from Halloween. Prepare to be scarified.

Finally, A Reason To Get Married

This is the best wedding cake EVER.

Apart from the Peach and Mario figurines on top, it is completely edible. The rest of the pictures are here.

The Duke Of Marm

There are sites all over the place that rearrange Family Circus comics, trying desperately to make them actually funny. I recently discovered a similar site for Marmaduke. This blog simply explains what is happening in each new comic, making them far funnier without changing the comics themselves.
"Marmaduke is pursuing a vacuum cleaner possessed of tremendous speed, independent mobility, and a power cord of apparently infinite length. Of these properties, a behatted onlooker finds only the former worth remarking upon."

I'm putting this in the permanent link bar to the right.

Sony Online Has No Structure

It turns out my last anti-Sony rant, while beautifully written, may have been premature and unfounded. So the downloads may be optional. Ok, that's actually a nice feature, then.
To make up for posting the positive news, I'll link to these three stories from Evil Avatar about Sony's online plan. Which apparently is non-existant, or at least so convoluted that none of the developers can actually agree on how to use it. All you have to do is read about EA's online service for the 360 to know what can happen when a developer tries to do its own thing. With the 360 it just doesn't make sense, because from all accounts the XBox Live service is fantastic. For EA to ignore it is just plain stupid. On the PS3, developers don't really have a choice. So instead of an online system that runs smoothly with most games, you'll have a mish-mash of services that may or may not be ideal for playing games. It could work, but what a pain in the ass. Again, it's just extremely complicated for a console. The whole point of a console is simplicity.

Add to that this developer's opinion that the 360 and PS3 are nearly identical in power. Take that, Sony! Your system comes out a year later and costs $200 more, it had damn well be a more powerful system on all levels. Instead, the power gap is marginal at best. This opinion comes from someone at Silicon Knights, a company that gives a lot of credence to gaming power. I know this because they abandoned Nintendo for a more powerful system, the jerks.
There's nothing in the PS3 that seems to create confidence for the consumer. I believe anyone who buys this system on day one is a sucker. This is a system that needs to be observed from a distance before any amount of money is spent on it.

So Close...So Very Close...

Wii Video Contest Entry

Someone created this animation for the chance to win a Wii. I don't know if it won, but it's really cool.

Bonus Round: Next Gen Discussion

Gametrailers.com has a new show called Bonus Round, and the first episode is a fascinating discussion between three people who work in the gaming industry. They focus the discussion mainly on the PS3, but use that as a jumping-off point to talk about the state of the industry in general. I tend to agree with the first guy's opinions on Blu-Ray (I don't think it's any secret that I'm critical). I'm looking forward to the next two parts of this series.

Swiit, You Guys!

The Nintendo Wii was a prominent part in one of the latest South Park episode's subplots.
The full episode is on YouTube.

Addendum:
I posted this before watching the full episode. But now that I have I think it's one of the funniest I've seen in a long time. The otters at the end are hilarious.
It's a cliff hanger, so be sure to tune in next week for the thrilling conclusion.

Learning To Enjoy The Rape

I was browsing the archive of my old blog, and happened upon this entry:

This...might get vulgar.
So, I get out of work last night. That's how this story begins, me leaving work. Are you following? Ok.
I'm driving home and I notice that my gas gauge is below empty. So I do the natural thing, I stop for gas. I hand the friendly clerk nine dollars, which is all the money I have in the world (some of which I had to borrow, for crying out loud!). I begin to pump the gas...I blink...and the the pump cuts off.
Nine freakin' dollars got me less than five gallons! It was $2.03 per. What the fuck! Son of a whore! I pulled out of the gas station and my gas warning light immediately blinked on again. It wasn't even enough to put the needle over the empty mark!
Well, the next thing I knew that gas station was in flames and I was covered in blood. And I don't really remember anything else.

That was March 24, last year. When I see $2.03 at the gas pump these days I praise the deity and gladly hand over my forty dollars, thankful for the few drops that manage to squeeze out of the hose into my parched, barren gas tank. My spirit is broken so easily.

Don't Re-Elect Sony In '06

This little blurb from Evil Avatar contains what might possibly be the number one reason not to buy a PS3.
Apparently, portions of the games you play will have to be downloaded to the internal hard drive just to make the game run properly, much like installing a game on your PC.
The article states that the Ridge Racer game launching with the system will require 5GB of information to be stored. The reason for this is that Blu-Ray drives apparently run at a slower rate than normal disc drives, and the install helps the game run at a tolerable speed.
I'm sorry, but if I wanted to go to that much trouble to play a game I'd buy a gaming PC. At least the PC would have more than 20GB of storage from the get-go. At that rate you'd be able to play 4 games of your choice on the PS3 before having to erase one game's data to make room. And anyone who's even remotely tech-savvy knows how long it takes for 5GB of data to transfer.
Of course, the system allows for any owner to buy a larger compatible hard drive to solve the problem. And I'm sure anyone who has dropped 600 dollars on the system wouldn't mind spending an extra 200 for that storage breathing room, right?
The thing that boggles my mind is that this information is only now seeing the light, when the system comes out in just over two weeks. This information is kind of critical, don't ya think? It's like Sony is trying to reveal as little as possible about their system, for fear that once we see the thing in its entirety we shall at once be repulsed.
Sony is the Phantom and we, the consumer, are Christine. We are compelled to look under the mask but we aren't prepared for what we'll find. Sony knows it's a monster and understands when all is revealed the illusion is shattered and the romance is finished.
If Sony remains dominant in the video game industry this time around I'll probably react in much the same way as I would if the Republicans maintain dominance after the elections. Slack-jawed stupefaction.
I don't know. Maybe I'm just a biased Nintendo fanboy, trying to justify the weaker graphical power of the new system in my future. Maybe nearly a thousand dollars is a small price to pay for the "next generation" of video gaming.
No, wait. It's a huge price. Fucking huge. Goddamn, look at the size of it.

Christmas Video Countdown #55

No, I'm not actually doing a Christmas countdown. I'm kind of all video'd out for the time being.
I just wanted to remind those of you who know that my fall concert is tomorrow night. And for those of you who didn't know, now you do. It's at 8 o'clock and it's free, just like every other Pellissippi concert I've done. So stop by and see me and hear my awesome solo.

It's Over :(

Happy Halloween Everybody

As if I haven't posted enough Halloween videos, here are some more.

What terrifying creature lurks in this small town?


This would have been in the countdown if they'd released it sooner.


Addendum:
Fabulist posted this gem. I remember some of the girls I grew up with were obsessed with this movie.

Anything can happen on Halloween...as long as the high school video production crew is able to find the appropriate stock footage and come up with a blue screen effect. Also, it has to rhyme.

Nightmare Before Christmas Redux

I love Nightmare Before Christmas. It's one of my favorite animated films ever. It's probably the last great movie Tim Burton made. Today I got to see it again on the big screen in digital 3D. It was amazing, and easily the best 3D movie I've ever seen. This new 3D technology they're using is absolutely stunning.
Before the film they showed Pixar's first short, Knick Knack, which had also been converted to 3D. Then the new Disney Digital 3D logo appeared. It seems that Disney is really getting behind this new technology and I'm very excited about that. All the 3D movies I've seen in theaters before this were a lot more primitive. The only time the 3D was evident was when something would extend from the center of the screen. But now it's reached a point where the visual quality equals that of huge amusement park 3D movies, like Muppets 3D. The visuals in Nightmare didn't just pop out occasionally. Every frame was layered from the foreground to the background. I was blown away by how good it looked, especially considering that none of the film's content had been altered. Nothing was added to Nightmare to give it an extra 3D kick. Still, it looks like it was made to be in 3D. The camera is constantly moving through something or switching to a point of view shot, characters often lean in towards the camera, random objects are flying all over the place. The Oogie Boogie scenes were especially beautiful.
Do yourself a favor and go see this if it's playing near you.

Halloween Video Countdown #1

Silly Symphony - The Skeleton Dance

Halloween Video Countdown #2

Indian Thriller

Halloween Video Countdown #3

Sigur Ros - untitled 1

Halloween Video Countdown #4

Dolby's Cube - Howard The Duck

Halloween Video Countdown #5

The Aquabats - Fashion Zombies!

Halloween Video Countdown #6

The Legend of Zelda - A Link To The Past

Halloween Video Countdown #7

Prince - Bat Dance

Podcast Extravaganza!

We interrupt the Halloween Video Countdown for this important announcement.
Or rather, a list of podcasts I've subscribed to.

1. Channel Frederator
This is the first video podcast I got into. It collects animation shorts from all over the place and puts them together in a very adult-swim-inspired little package. Some of the shorts are mediocre. A great many of them are brilliant. I strongly recommend this to anyone with a video ipod.

2. Downloadable Content, the Penny Arcade Podcast
I find this podcast fascinating, not just as a Penny Arcade fan, but as a fan of comics and comedy in general. It's really cool to hear how these guys find their inspiration and fine tune an idea until it becomes the posted strip.

3. Thing A Week - Jonathan Coulton
Found this after discovering Jonathan Coulton. This podcast was his successful attempt to release a new song every week for 52 weeks. It's over now, and unfortunately the iTunes store doesn't archive it all the way to episode one. I subscribed when #19 was the earliest available, and now it's #23. Still, it's a great collection of Coulton originals and inspired covers.

4. Little Gray Books
Two talented Johns (Hodgman and Coulton) present this series to promote the touring Little Gray Books lecture series. The lectures, by various guest lecturers, are highly amusing and occassionally informative.

5. They Might Be Giants Podcast
Two other very talented Johns (Linnel and Flansburg) offer up this podcast for a little band some of you may have heard of. It just so happens to be my favorite band. Updates are sporadic and unpredictable, but the contents are great, ranging from remixes of new songs to rare bootlegs. And it's finally archived so all latecomers can get every episode!

6. NPR: All Songs Considered
A great NPR show that features music from a wide variety of artists. A lot of rare and indie music is featured. I've been introduced to a lot of great artists (Eef Barzelay, for one) by this podcast.

7. PopSci Podcast
The third Coulton-related podcast I listen to. In this one he takes stories from Popular Science magazine and delves a little further into them. The topics are varied and entertaining and Coulton lends his quirky sense of humor to them.

8. Cliptip
This is an amazing video podcast with frequent updates of music videos. MTV might not show them any more but music videos are just as important to the industry now as they ever have been. A wide variety of artists is featured, but the highlights are those videos by bands that I've never heard of. Really good stuff.

9. This American Life
My favorite show on NPR finally, finally has a podcast. If you're not familiar, This American Life takes a different topic every week and explores it from various angles. This show is executed masterfully, and I believe is proof that radio is still an important and viable medium for creative work. Only one episode in the podcast so far, and it's a rerun, but it features one of the funniest stories I've ever heard (which happened to be on the show's "best of" CD). It's about a disastrous production of Peter Pan, and if you've ever been involved with theater it's a must-listen. I can't wait to listen to each new episode at my leisure.

So that's my list. What podcasts are you listening to?

Halloween Video Countdown #8

Gnarls Barkley - Gone Daddy Gone

Halloween Video Countdown #9

Lamb - B'Line

Halloween Video Countdown #10

Marilyn Manson - This Is Halloween

More Sony Wisdom

Next-Gen has an interview with yet another baffling Sony suit.

Regarding the PS3's online strategy:
"What we don’t do however is have a brand name for the network service, you know, like PlayStation Online or PlayStation Live, and this is because we don’t see a 'PlayStation offline'.
What I’m trying to say is that it doesn't matter if you are enjoying content from a Blu-ray disc or you are enjoying content you just downloaded from the network, at the end of the day it’s all PlayStation 3 so we don’t differentiate between content, and I think that makes a clear point between us and some of our competitors, who like to differentiate how the consumers get the content, that’s the difference in the strategy or the basic philosophy towards the online service."

Brilliant, absolutely brilliant PR bullshit. In the words of my local rapping pals: "Break it down!"

1. "We Don't See A 'Playstation offline.'"
This is Sony trying to sound hip, man. The PS3 is never "offline," dude.
CONSUMER: What about games that don't have online content? Aren't they offline?
SONY: Who let him in here? Seize him!!! I mean...help him out...dude.

2. "It doesn't matter if you are enjoying content from a Blu-ray disc or you are enjoying..."
...a wonderful bowel movement.
Seriously, Sony can't say Blu-ray enough. They'll slip it into any conversation even when it doesn't really fit. They are so desperate for this media format to be accepted by the mainstream., because they're practically hinging the entire company's success on it. They're forgetting that they defeated the Betamax with the VHS buy supplying consumers with a much more affordable (albeit shabby) product. With Blu-ray they're trying to get us to buy into a much more expensive (albeit shabby) product.

3. "I think that makes a clear point between us and some of our competitors..."
You know who we mean. *awkward wink*

4. "That’s the difference in the strategy or the basic philosophy towards the online service."
It's finally clear to me now. Sony's master philosophy is that they offer content the same way as everyone else, but they don't have a name for it.
That's on par with the philosophy of any pothead I've ever met at a party.
That's not a philosophy, Sony. This is.

Certain To Become Future "News Of The Weird" Article:

This was in the Sunday paper:

Police: Woman used baby to hit boyfriend

By RAMESH SANTANAM, Associated Press
October 15, 2006

ERIE, Pa. - Pregnant with her fifth child, Chytoria Graham often walked the streets of her working-class neighborhood, happily pushing her 1-year-old in a stroller while the other children walked alongside her.

But now Graham's children have been taken from her by authorities - except for 4-week-old Jarron. He is in a hospital after a horrific event that has stunned police and prosecutors and prompted strangers who read about him to offer to adopt the boy: Authorities say Graham grabbed the infant by his feet and swung him, hitting her boyfriend and fracturing the baby's skull.

"Unfortunately, I have seen child abuse cases up front," said Capt. Frank Kwitowski, a 20-year Erie police officer. "But this is the first time I've seen a child actually picked up and used as a weapon."

Erie County's Office of Children and Youth, like other child welfare agencies in the state, can't comment on whether Graham had a history of abuse. But defense attorney Alison Scarpitti said: "There's nothing in her background (to indicate) she would do anything to harm a child."

Police say Graham told them she had been drinking and "snapped." Her attorneys say Graham, who is unemployed and lives with her boyfriend, 20-year-old Deangelo Troop, could be suffering from postpartum depression, possibly even battered-woman syndrome.

Police were told Thursday that Jarron, who was delivered by caesarean section Sept. 11, was in serious but stable condition in a drug-induced coma at Children's Hospital of Pittsburgh. The baby emerged from the coma on Friday, according to police.

Graham was jailed in lieu of $75,000 bail, charged with aggravated assault, endangering the welfare of children, simple assault and reckless endangerment.

Graham's other children are in the custody of their maternal grandmother, Gloria Graham.

Sweet Jesus.

Football Siison

The title of this post is probably my biggest stretch yet, and I'm sure if I knew anything substantial about football I could have come up with something better. Perhaps you have some suggestions.

Anyway, I'm posting a video of Madden '07 for the Wii because I recently chatted online with Graham about Nintendo's new system. The impression I got was that most of his information about the system had come from my blog which, while a good place to start, only scratches the surface. And it only covers areas of self interest for me. While I hope the information is at least entertaining or informational, I understand that there are aspects of video gaming that I pretty much ignore. For the purposes of this post I'm referring to sports games. I could usually care less about sports games, with a few exceptions like NBA Street, which is more arcadey and less, um, sportsy.
Here's part of our private conversation which I'm now posting without his permission:

GRAHAM: the ps3 is slated for Nov 11
SCOTT: 17
GRAHAM: 17?... anywho... i am not excited about paying $600 for it but I probably will anyway
SCOTT: there's no way I'm paying that much for a system
SCOTT: Sony's going downhill
SCOTT: there will probably be good games for it
SCOTT: but I've heard a lot of bad stuff
GRAHAM: from everything i read that is what it sounds like but at the same time i want to play games like college football and splinter cell and the Wii isn't offereing that
SCOTT: yes it is
SCOTT: Splinter Cell is one of the launch games for Wii
GRAHAM: The Wii will have EA Sports college football, Call of Duty 3 and Splinter Cell?
SCOTT: Call of Duty and Splinter Cell for certain
SCOTT: I don't know about college sports, but EA is apparently making about 8 games for the system
GRAHAM: I thought EA Sports games were only on PS and Xbox
SCOTT: Madden is a launch game
GRAHAM: interesting....

In the words of Chappelle to Oprah: "Gotcha bitch!"
Seriously though, check out my awesome subtle jabs against the PS3: "Sony is going downhill," and "I've heard a lot of bad stuff." This is the kind of eloquence IM breeds. And by "going downhill" I meant as a company in general, and not that the PS3 was "going down." I'm not so deluded as to think the PS3 won't make tons of money (hell, even if they sell one it's a small fortune. Zing!), and be successful at least on some level. But I don't think that what they are doing is right for the video game industry as a whole, in the long run.
I'm still not able to address whether or not College Football will be on the Wii, but with the care and effort EA has put into Madden I would be surprised if the other big franchises didn't pop up as well. Probably not until the next incarnation, however.

The whole point I'm trying to get to is that in my fervor to enlist Graham into Nintendo's Armii (now, that's the worst one yet) I ended up becoming very interested in Madden '07. Everyone who's already into these types of games has been raving about this one. Everbody says it's amazing, particularly the Superstar mode, which I've heard more about than I ever really wanted to. But the Wii version just seems like it would be hellafun to play.
So here's the video:

The controls appear to be very immersive. Just check out the part where the player raises the Wii-mote before the snap, causing one of the on-screen characters to raise his arms to incite the crowd. It's little details like this that seem to add a lot to the game. When you're the quarterback you pass the ball by flipping the controller forward in a passing motion. As you can see in the video you don't have to swing it overhead like an actual pass, but still the control is intuitive. A similarly logical motion is made for kicking. This article mentions how you can signal a fair catch merely by waving the controller. This game actually sounds fun to play, as opposed to the tedium I tend to find in conventional sports games. I still wouldn't care about all the micromanaging that usually goes on in these types of games, but I'd sure as hell be more inclined to play the game. Especially if a certain friend decides to buy the system after all, and has me over for some multiplayer action (hint, hint).

Of course, the very first sign that sports games would be a blast on the Wii was Nintendo's own Wii Sports. Much more simplistic in design, but a lot of fun to play by all accounts. I'm actually excited to get my hands on it. Fortunately it's a pack-in with the system. If Nintendo can make someone like me excited about sports games then I'd say their overall philosophy for the system is sound. That is, trying to get non-gamers to play the system. While I'm already a gamer, I'm a very specific type of gamer. And the Wii makes me consider expanding my type to include new types of games.

Addendum:
The original video that got me interested in the game has finally been Tubed:

Extras, Season 2

Found these videos by way of The Hater, which just may be the best blog ever.




Bowie! The Bowie!

Must...see...season...two.


...Bowie.

"God Please, Don't Let This Man Open This Closet."

Pitchfork has a nice list of 100 Awesome Music Videos for your enjoyment. I haven't tried to watch them all, but the selection is very eclectic. Several of the videos I tried to watch have been removed (probably by legal goons) but there are still a bunch of good ones up.

I like this one a lot:

The first time I saw it was in a Channel Frederator podcast (which I highly recommend for all you video iPoders).

Notice the title says that it's just a collection of "awesome" videos, as oppossed to a VH1 Best Videos Ever list. So some of the videos are on the list because they are awesomely bad. And some of them are just...um. I don't know what you classify this as:

[video dead]

I know these videos have been around for ever, but I hadn't seen any of them until I checked out this list. There are layers to R. Kelly's gifts that I never dreamed. Is this self-parody? If so it's on a Kaufman-esque level of comic genius.
Most likely Kelly is just a complete dipshit.

Wii Play

Nintendo has started releasing some great promotional videos that feature real people trying out the Wii (specifically, Wii Sports). I prefer these videos to previous ones because it seems like a better representation of what the Wii is all about, rather than some actor hamming it up and jumping behind couches.

Video the first:

Of, course I'm looking forward to Wii Bowling the most.

Video the second:

I love that old Japanese lady playing golf.

One thing I like about these videos is seeing how people adjust as they get familiar with the controller. The first guy in the second video kind of swings awkwardly the first time, then switches to a more natural golf swing. Interesting.
You could argue that these are just actors doing a much better job than previously, but the videos seem genuine enough to me.
Can't friggin wait!

Prii-order

As of today I've officially spent my first Wii money. Although I haven't pre-ordered the actual system (I had to go to class Friday morning), I've placed some money down on a few games and a few accesories. I'm not at all worried about getting a Wii. There shouldn't be any major shortages come launch time. I can always go to Walmart at midnight as a last resort.

The Games:

1. Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess
Well, duh. No big surprise here. If there are going to be Wii shortages of any kind, it will be this game.

2. Trauma Center: Second Opinion
With everyone going apeshit over the DS version of this I simply couldn't resist. It seems like playing surgeon with a Wii-mote would be a lot of fun.

3. Rayman Raving Rabbids
This game is just going to be wacky and fun, and from what I understand, makes great use of the Wii-mote in a lot of different ways.

I opted out of pre-ordering Red Steel at the last minute because I'm just not convinced the controls are going to be polished enough. Ubisoft is a damn good company but Wii is completely different territory for everyone. I could eventually be proven wrong, of course. I just need to know more about this one before I make up my mind.

So that's three out of my 9 Most Wanted. And that list didn't even include games like Excite Truck, which is a first party title and may be one of the best.

The Accessories:

1 & 2. Extra Wii-mote and Nunchuck.
I figure I'll probably want to play multiplayer at some point. I had four controllers for the Gamecube from day one, but I think I'll stick to two on the Wii for now. I don't think any of the games I pre-ordered have multiplayer anyway. But Wii Sports (included with system) will be multiplayer. Anyway, since you basically have to buy two controllers for each additional player I'm going to hold off for now to save a few bucks.

3. The Classic Controller.

Mmmm. Pretty. This is for use with all the Virtual Console games. It's shown with a cord for some reason. I don't know why they wouldn't make this wireless as well, except to keep costs down. But considering this is a more retro controller you'd think the cost would be down to begin with. Whatever. Want it anyway.

So that's what I've got so far. I'm holding off on a memory card until I know how necessary they'll be. The Wii has some built-in memory, so we'll see how far it goes.

Video Games In The Media, 1988 or Before They Killed People

This is one of the best vintage television videos I've seen on the internet. Kudos to Zhubin for passing it to me. And original kudos to Bobak Farzin for finding it.

It's so nice to see a reporter talk about video games without mentioning a high school killing spree.

James and the Rainbros - "Children of the Universe"

This is a fun music video with bears. Space bears. And it also has a nice dedication at the end to a great hero (and snack) of all bearkind.

Rejected Wii Games

The acting overall is mediocre, but I like the concept.

An Early Halloween Message

Be the biggest asshole on your block this Halloween!


Warn those poor wayward children that come looking for candy about their special plot in Hell. Don't let them end up like Timmy:

And what awful sin was Timmy commiting when he met his untimely demise? Why, going to a haunted house against his mother's wishes, of course!

What terrifyingly sinful things did they encounter at said haunted house? Why, the Devil, of course!

Of course, he wasn't the real Devil. But that didn't stop Timmy from running straight into oncoming traffic.

If only Timmy's parents had spent less time warning him about fake haunted houses and more time warning him about looking both ways. Well, too late, cause he's in Hell now. Way to go, Mom and Dad.

Still, if you're worried you might check out early in some retarded fashion, there is still a chance to save your soul.
ACT NOW!!!

That's right! All you have to do is accept God's "free love gift" (he's practically giving it away!) and you'll be sitting pretty. You too can be just as self-righteous as Mrs. Baxter.


Happy Halloween!

This. Is. Sparta!!!

Um. Yeah!

Click here for better quality.

Aimee Mann At The Bijou

I saw Aimee Mann at the Bijou Wednesday night, as the non-clever title above suggests. The concert was excellent. Aimee's Knoxville performance was the very last performance of her acoustic tour, which was kind of cool. As an end-of-the-tour bonus she handed out gift bags to some lucky audience members. She did a few requests during the show, and whoever's requests were picked got a gift basket. And several of them also got to play bongos during the song they requested. The gift baskets consisted mostly of items from the tour bus that she didn't have room to pack and take home, such as some books she had read and various food items. It was pretty funny overall. Aimee has a really laid-back attitude on stage, which was probably elevated by the fact that this was the last stop.
And of course, the music was fantastic.

But the part of the concert that really excited me was the guy who opened for her. I'd never heard of him before and he ended up blowing me away. His name's David Ford and he falls under the category of musicians that loop all the instrument tracks by themselves on stage so it sounds like a whole band is playing. I don't know what you call it but it seems to be a pretty popular thing to do these days. Anyway, this guy does it better than anyone I've seen yet. Unlike some of the artists that I've seen do this, this guy's music holds up when you strip the novelty away. I've been listening to his album quite a bit since I saw the show and I'm absolutely hooked on some of the songs.

Here's one of his videos. Hopefully your speakers are better than mine because the sound quality ain't too great. It's supposed to be quiet at the beginning, so don't turn your speakers up too loud.

He plays a lot more instruments in this video than he did during the concert, but the thing I liked about his live show was that he did a lot more vocal looping. He had about five or six harmonizing background vocals going in this song when I saw him do it.
If you get a chance to see him live don't hesitate!

Goldeneye Reborn

Someone is using the Half Life 2 engine to recreate Goldeneye64.

Sometimes I wish I had the kind of disposable income to be a PC gamer. Player-created content expands gaming in a lot of big ways.

It's-a Mii!

Someone at Joystiq created a little flash program that simulates the upcoming Mii Channel from the Wii.
It's pretty neat if you're looking forward to the console as much as I am.
Which you're not.


Not the real Mii

More Sony Madness

Item 1:

Sony unveiled the official PS3 controller recently.
Instead of the originally previewed boomarang,

this is the controller PS3 owners will receive:

Snah?

So unlike Nintendo, who jumps at a chance to innovate at every turn, Sony dips its toe in the innovation pool and promptly runs screaming back to familiar territory. They're calling it the "sixaxis" to emphasize its motion-sensitive features. "Six degrees of freedom!" is the mantra that Sony is spouting now. Which, when you compare it to the Wii-mote, might as well read "Only six degrees of freedom."
The Wii controller detects full movement of the controller, so you can manipulate things on the screen simply by pointing at them, like you would with a laser pointer. It also has a built-in accelerometer to detect the speed and motion of the controller's movements. Basically any movement can be transferred into gameplay. It just depends on what the developer wants to do. Read this developer blog for a good idea of what this means.
The PS3 controller only detects the controller's movements and can't distinguish, say, the position of the controller in relation to the television. Sony incorporated this feature shortly after Nintendo unveiled their own controller, and did a pretty shoddy job in the process. Since it was a last minute addition it's unlikely that any PS3 games will even utilize the feature for quite awhile after the system's launch. Also, Sony had to sacrifice the rumble feature. They claimed it screwed up the motion sensor. Maybe if they'd developed this ealier they could have figured out a way to make it work, like Nintendo did.
Sony takes two steps back for every stolen step forward.

Item 2:

Sony just doesn't care.
As its development of Blu-Ray technology suggests, Sony creates its products in a complete market vacuum that shields it from competition and consumer demands. It must be nice to create your own world and live there every day.

Kuma!

So, the Japanese have awesome penguins. How are they for bears?

Example 1 - Commercial for the Noboribetsu bear park in Japan:


Example 2 - Some kind of sadistic television show:


Example 3 - YouTube description reads, "There are 2 bears in a Japan zoo. One of the bear is very like to eat cookie. It always loot another's cookie. Another bear always sad..."

This one is funny until you consider how emotionally traumatized that bear must be.

Final verdict:
Japanese bears not nearly as awesome as Japanese penguins.

I Want One! I Want One! I Want One!

I saw this on tv over the summer:

Best. Pet. Ever.

Asylum Street Spankers - "Magnetic Ribbons"

Ha ha! Yes.

Pink - "Stupid Girls"

This is a very funny video by Pink.

Message!

Webcomics Extravaganza!

I'm on kind of a comic kick these days. I recently purchased the first Penny Arcade book at Knoxville's new Triad Comics store. A fine store indeed. I also bought the first issue of a manga sequel to Jim Henson's Labyrinth. I haven't read it yet. I'm almost reluctant to, because I've been slowly developing my own sequel idea in my mind and the comic might be at odds with it.

I've also recently discovered some fantastic web-comics.

1. Lackadaisy

This the newest out of all the comics I discovered, and I don't actually remember how I first found it. But I absolutely love it. The art is fantastic, the story (little so far) is intriguing. The main character is a lovable scamp (oh how I love scamps).
Plus I've had a thing for cat ladies from an early age. Mrowr!

2. Applegeeks

Discovered this one today. Linked to it through Gabe's (of PA fame) new art blog. I've barely read any of this so far, but it's another stunner as far as art is concerned. I'm looking forward to delving farther into it.

3. Achewood

Originally linked to this through Penny Arcade. The comics they recommend are usually worth checking out, since they're incredibly picky. Achewood has a strange balance of debauchery and sweetness.

4. Sinfest

Zhubin got me into this a few years ago. I read it like mad and then forgot about it. I'm getting into it all over again. It's heavily influenced by Calvin & Hobbes, particularly early on, but it finds its own groove. Also, Monique is a hotty.

5. The Perry Bible Fellowship

This is probably my favorite webcomic outside of PA. The artist uses a lot of different styles for the strips, and the sense of humor is twisted. Several strips feature bears.

6. Sluggy Freelance

This is another one that's been around for quite some time. It features an epic sci-fi comic adventure, among other things. I have yet to read all of it.

7. Bunny Suicides

Now this is comedy!