Followers

Monday, October 09, 2006

An Early Halloween Message

Be the biggest asshole on your block this Halloween!


Warn those poor wayward children that come looking for candy about their special plot in Hell. Don't let them end up like Timmy:

And what awful sin was Timmy commiting when he met his untimely demise? Why, going to a haunted house against his mother's wishes, of course!

What terrifyingly sinful things did they encounter at said haunted house? Why, the Devil, of course!

Of course, he wasn't the real Devil. But that didn't stop Timmy from running straight into oncoming traffic.

If only Timmy's parents had spent less time warning him about fake haunted houses and more time warning him about looking both ways. Well, too late, cause he's in Hell now. Way to go, Mom and Dad.

Still, if you're worried you might check out early in some retarded fashion, there is still a chance to save your soul.
ACT NOW!!!


That's right! All you have to do is accept God's "free love gift" (he's practically giving it away!) and you'll be sitting pretty. You too can be just as self-righteous as Mrs. Baxter.


Happy Halloween!

5 comments:

Zhubin said...

Oh, man, they changed it! The version they had a few years ago had Mrs. Baxter actually tell Timmy's best friend that Timmy was in hell. They must have changed it because Jack Chick is going soft in his old age.

Sharkbear said...

Well, I didn't show every panel. She more or less does say he's in Hell, but I liked the subtleness of this panel. This might be the part you remember.

Sharkbear said...

By the way, here's a verbatim description of the event that inspired Jack Chick to write his first tract:
"Right after the book was printed, he was driving down the road, when his eyes were drawn to a group of teens on the sidewalk. Jack remembers, 'At the time, I didn’t like teenagers or their rebellion. But, all of a sudden, the power of God hit me and my heart broke and I was overcome with the realization that these teens were probably on their way to hell. With tears pouring down my face, I pulled my car off the road and wrote as fast as I could, as God poured the story into my mind.'"

Notice it doesn't say that the teenagers were up to no good. They were just out. On the sidewalk. That was enough for Jack to believe their souls were in peril.
He truly is a great man.

Zhubin said...

I really hope that that whole series of events happened right in front of the teens. Like they're standing around talking about school when the car drives by with a glowering man, who then suddenly pulls off the side of the road right there and starts sobbing while scribbling on a BK wrapper.

I can just imagine the confused looks.

Sharkbear said...

And then they go over and ask him if he's okay, and if there's anything they can do to help. But he just thinks they're trying to sell him drugs.
TEEN: "Dude, are you all right?"
CHICK: "Get away from me! I don't need anything from you hop-heads!"
TEEN: "Can we call someone for you? You don't look too good."
CHICK: "Can't you teens see I'm trying to draw a comic strip to save your souls?!"