Vacation In Gatlinburg

I took a short two night vacation in Gatlinburg this weekend. It was nice and relaxing, and I got to eat some good food.

Matt came along for the whole trip. We walked around Gatlinburg on the first day, and picked up an unlimited miniature golf pass at Fort Fun. They had two outdoor courses that climbed up the side of a hill, and one indoor black light course. We played one of the outdoor courses the first day. It was incredibly humid all weekend, and even the minor exertion of walking around a miniature golf course had me feeling unpleasant. So we spent most of the time on the air conditioned black light course.


In the evening Kyle and Bone came up and met us at Best Italian. I hadn't been there in a few years and it didn't disappoint. If you haven't been there it's almost worth a trip to Gatlinburg alone. It's food so good you know it's nowhere near being good for you. Especially the garlic rolls, which come literally soaking in a shallow bowl of melted garlic butter and oil. So good.

That night we chilled at the time share, drank some cheap box wine and played a game of Zombies!!!, which has to be the most entertaining board game to come out in recent years.

The next day Matt and I got breakfast/lunch at The Pancake Pantry, another one of those must-go places in Gatlinburg. I got the Marvelous Blintz. From the menu:

Pecans and Raisins are added to a Ricotta-Cream cheese filling and placed into our Blintz Pancakes. Topped with Powdered Sugar and a warm Orange Blueberry Syrup.

The first bite nearly floored me, and the last one sent me into a sugar-shock epileptic fit that carried me out the door and down the street. I woke up hours later, on the the fourth hole of Black Light Golf, two strokes under par.


For dinner I finally had one of those mythic Fannie Farkel's smoked sausages. I didn't realize it was cash only, and when I tried to get money from the ATM I was denied. The sausage guy was nice enough to let me have it, trusting that I would return with the money later. Sucker!

Back to the time share for more Zombies!!!, then Bonnie stopped by for a drink and a chat. And that was the weekend!

This was my first time in Gatlinburg in at least three years, probably more. I realized that the whole town has maybe three stores, repeated over and over. Flap jacks, old timey photos, airbrushed shirts, and collectible ninja weapons. Any place that sells throwing stars and samurai swords also sells bongs. I'm not sure how those two commodities were linked, but it is the rule rather than the odd exception.

Old timey photos take the cake, though. There must have been twenty within a five minute walk of one another. Many of them were standalone, but others were nestled within arcades and other places.

Also, everyone sells fudge and taffy. Everyone.