Things That Exist

Here are two creatures that actually exist, but shouldn't. They also explain why our ancestors got the hell out of the ocean millions of years ago.

1. Blobfish (Psychrolutes marcidus)

The blobfish may be facing extinction, and that's probably a good thing. They're so ugly they're cute, and back to ugly again.

2. Goblin Shark (Mitsukurina owstoni)

"Goblin Shark" is but a rough translation of the original Japanese name, which can only be pronounced properly while projectile vomiting. The very existence of such an animal should make you pray for death. Of course, this prayer would go unanswered, because any universe that would include a Goblin Shark is surely devoid of any deity, let alone a merciful one.

Both the Blobfish and Goblin Shark live in the deep ocean where sunlight doesn't reach. It's a common misconception that sunlight isn't capable of penetrating the ocean depths, but the truth is that it chooses not to. Because it is scared shitless.

Sharks In Venice

Why wouldn't you buy this movie?

Great White Shark Reviewed

Thank you, Holly, for alerting me to Animal Review, a fantastic blog that is exactly what it sounds like. The latest entry is for the great white shark. It's very informative.

The picture header for the site is a grizzly, but unfortunately the only bear review so far is for the panda. It doesn't fare so well.

Jesus Is A Shark!

Hammerhead sharks can apparently reproduce without having sex.
Christian fundamentalist sharks are going to have a field day with this.

Anyway, the Onion has an interesting perspective.

The Second Greatest Nature Scene Ever

Sharks have been sorely underrepresented on this blog. I do apologize.

Buy My Album!

Side A:
Bit Through The Heart
Like A Doll's Eyes
Flipping The Middle Fin
Band-Aids For The Burningness

Side B:
Enough of Tim Treadwell (No Room For Seconds)
Radio Collar Blues
Polar Bears Can't Jump
Bonus Track: 12 minutes of growling