Things That Exist Part 2

Add the Korean Penis Fish to the list of things that will haunt my dreams forever:

And not only does it exist, but is considered a delicacy all over Asia.
Dig in!


[via Nerdist]

Things That Exist

Here are two creatures that actually exist, but shouldn't. They also explain why our ancestors got the hell out of the ocean millions of years ago.

1. Blobfish (Psychrolutes marcidus)

The blobfish may be facing extinction, and that's probably a good thing. They're so ugly they're cute, and back to ugly again.

2. Goblin Shark (Mitsukurina owstoni)

"Goblin Shark" is but a rough translation of the original Japanese name, which can only be pronounced properly while projectile vomiting. The very existence of such an animal should make you pray for death. Of course, this prayer would go unanswered, because any universe that would include a Goblin Shark is surely devoid of any deity, let alone a merciful one.

Both the Blobfish and Goblin Shark live in the deep ocean where sunlight doesn't reach. It's a common misconception that sunlight isn't capable of penetrating the ocean depths, but the truth is that it chooses not to. Because it is scared shitless.

Fuzzy Wuzzy Was A Bear...

Bears look weird without fur, apparently:


[via Boing Boing]

More On Virgin Falls

Went on the Virgin Falls hike with my friends, Sarah and Brook. This was about a ten mile hike. You start up on the plateau and keep descending until you get to the falls.

There are several alternate routes to take, including the lookout path, which has some great views; and the path to Sheep Cave, which has a fairly impressive waterfall that flows out of it.

Big Laurel Falls is the first impressive falls along the trail. The cave behind Big Laurel Falls is fairly large, and is covered by a thick bed of branches covered with fine sand. It's incredibly spongy to walk on. The water below these falls mysteriously disappears into a hole in the ground at the back of the cave.

Virgin Falls was very beautiful. You could climb down to the base of it if you were motivated. The rocks are very slippery. I went about halfway. There is a narrow trail that runs around in front of the falls that gives a perfect view. The spot has the feeling of a paradise oasis in the middle of the woods.



You have to hike back the way you came in. Since it was mostly downhill to the falls, it's all uphill on the way back. Parts of it are pretty intense for amateur hikers like myself. And we were moving at a pretty rapid pace, because one of us had to be back at a certain time.

It was a difficult hike. I wouldn't do it again in a hurry, since I tend to enjoy more leisurely hikes. But ultimately the views were worth the experience. I had a great time.

Virgin Falls

I went for a great hike this morning with some friends. You can see some pictures from the hike here. I wasn't able to upload my panoramic shots in that album so I'll post them here:

We Are Sequential Hermaphrodites

Isabella Rossellini is back with more Green Porno. The original series was all about insects. The new series deals with marine life. Now you can finally see how whales do it.

Rossellini is hilarious, and she brings a sensibility to the show that is whimsically insane. Where else can you hear her say such gems as, "Different penises, all trying to get as close as possible to my eggs. But I would have a tunnel. And it would be a labyrinth...It would be species specific, so that I'm not screwed by a bear."

Animal Planet should take a page from Green Porno. It might make something like The Planet's Funniest Animals actually watchable.

Great White Shark Reviewed

Thank you, Holly, for alerting me to Animal Review, a fantastic blog that is exactly what it sounds like. The latest entry is for the great white shark. It's very informative.

The picture header for the site is a grizzly, but unfortunately the only bear review so far is for the panda. It doesn't fare so well.

If I Were A Firefly, I Would Light Up My Ass At Night

I mentioned Green Porno a while back. Now the bizarre educational insect love videos are online.



Visit the site, to see Isabella Rossellini dress in weird costumes and say things like, "To have babies I need to mate with another hermaphrodite...in the sixty-nine position."

You'll be glad that you did.

Earth Day Required Viewing List

A list of must-see, environmentally-conscious movies for Earth Day.
In no particular order:

1. Koyaanisqatsi
A study of the world told entirely through images and haunting music by Philip Glass. This movie manages to make you view humanity as something eerily unnatural.


2. Princess Mononoke
A brilliant fantasy film by the genius, Hayao Miyazaki. A warning of the dangers that arise when the arrogance of mankind infringes on the precious balance of nature.


3. Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind
Another classic by Miyazaki. This film explores a world struggling to survive amidst the environmental devastation left behind by previous generations.


4. The Road Warrior
Thanks to the current administration's efforts, we are now closer than ever to this post-apocalyptic world in which petroleum is fought over in the desert by warring gangs.


5. The Lorax
I wore out the betamax tape of this when I was younger. I bought the book for my niece last Christmas. This is perhaps the best eco-parable ever told. And the soundtrack is great.


6. Planet Earth
Not only is this one of the most incredible nature documentary series ever made, with gorgeous images of rarely seen animals and locales, but Planet Earth also contains numerous warnings of human civilization's negative impact on the environment.
None is more tragic than the fate of this polar bear. Weakened, and dangerously underweight after having to swim miles over open water in search of food, the polar bear makes a desperate move:

Shorty after this clip, the polar bear dies from injuries sustained during the futile battle. The reason the polar bear was forced into this situation in the first place is the real tragedy. Due to global warming, the arctic circle is melting earlier and earlier during the year, erasing the precious time these animals need to hunt food in their natural environment.
I've heard several reports about the future of polar bears. The general consensus is that they will be extinct within the next century.

Jesus Is A Shark!

Hammerhead sharks can apparently reproduce without having sex.
Christian fundamentalist sharks are going to have a field day with this.

Anyway, the Onion has an interesting perspective.

The Greatest Threat To TheFuture Of Shrimp Cocktails

Since you all seem to be enjoying these, here is another marvel of nature:

You Can Keep Your Penguins -The Greatest Bird Ever

The Third Greatest Nature Scene Ever

While it doesn't involve sharks or bears, this video does have a three-way ass kicking. Listen carefully for the elderly British woman bemoaning the fate of the buffalo calf. Hopefully this woman was later eaten, and learned to respect the awesomeness of nature's fury.

The Second Greatest Nature Scene Ever

Sharks have been sorely underrepresented on this blog. I do apologize.